Laughable Life
by silentblackblood
Summary: How laughable can her life get? Abandoned first by Inuyasha, falling in love with a Taiyoukai, then getting her heart ripped apart again? The pain was too much. No flames please helpful comments are welcome.


Laughable Life

Everything was so laughable. Her life was laughable and totally screwed up. Her relationship with Sesshoumaru was also screwed up, because of a gold digging whore by the name of Yura.

Kagome let out a bitter laugh as the drops of water slid off the leaves and pelted heavily on her petite form. Her body shivered, but she didn't care. The cool numbness of her skin helped her forget, washed away all the pain she had felt when he had humiliated her. Perhaps she should've chosen to marry Hojo instead. Her life wouldn't have gotten so complicated, and her body wouldn't be so abused.

The wounds were still fresh, blood steadily dripping and mixing with the rain. She shouldn't have agreed to Sesshoumaru's proposal, she had been too young; they had been too young to have a serious relationship. It had lasted long; far too long others began to envy. She remembered just yesterday how Sango had told her how devoted Sesshoumaru was to their relationship.

She had been wrong, they had all been wrong.

Kagome discovered, and now knew that their bond was too fragile. She had wanted to continue their relationship and live peacefully, yet Sesshoumaru had ruined her chance. Why he had chosen to believe a prostitute was beyond her comprehension.

It should be believed that somewhere in the back of his mind, he had always doubted, had desperately tried to find a fault in her so that he could rid her of her presence. Perhaps this was why he had been so eager to believe Yura.

Exhausted.

She didn't want to think anymore, he was now her past. Once she had enough money, she would get a surgery and make sure that not even the wounds he had given her would remain. Sesshoumaru's claws had dug in painfully, but it didn't only dig in physically.

What a load of bullshit.

His kind words and soft touches were nothing but mere fantasies.

Kikyo had been correct all along, youkai were not to be trusted. In comparison, a hanyou like Inuyasha would be so much better in a world like Sengoku Japan. They knew the hardships, understood that bonds were precious and were not to be taken for granted.

But aristocratic youkai like Sesshoumaru did not.

She had been blind, Kagome now understood. At the time that he had accused her of having a relationship with Kouga, she should've taken it as a sign that she should leave. Like an idiot she ignored Inuyasha's warnings.

Maybe it would be easier to live as Kikyo had lived.

Kikyo's personality was cruel, unfeeling, and if she had kept that attitude up she wouldn't know how much emotions could tear one up. Kikyo's point of view on youkai were correct, they were despicable. They used humans for their own twisted pleasure, just as Sesshoumaru had used her.

Used her and humiliated her in front of the other lords.

Banned from his lands after receiving a beating, she dared not seek her shelter at Inuyasha's forest; it would be too easy for Sesshoumaru to discover her again.

Grabbing a knife, she tore off his mating mark and gritted her teeth to stop from screaming. It hurt, tearing off a piece of skin like that, but at least now her mind would be numb. But at least, she could erase the physical mating mark so she would not be so constantly reminded of him. As long as she was in her own era, the emotional bond would not work.

If their bond had been strong, it would've worked, but it had been one-sided after Sesshoumaru chose to believe it. As long as she ignored it, the power of the emotional mating mark would dim, and then she would be free.

Youkai mating was complicated; there was an emotional and physical mating. In order for a mating ritual to be complete, both bonds must be completed. If one of the bonds was to break, and none of the two were willing to correct their mistakes, the mark would disappear. Not without a price. Inuyoukai especially, took mating rather seriously. If their bond were to break, one of them would die.

It was cruel, the breaking of the bond. Both would feel immense pain from the hour of midnight till daybreak. Both would continue to experience it until the bond was created again, or one of them died. It was a way that only the stronger of the mates would survive.

This situation was even more laughable.

As a human, even a miko, how could her stamina surpass Sesshoumaru? She was sure to be the one who perished.

"Kagome, what happened to you?" a tearful voice pierced through the rain.

Kagome looked apathetically at her mother, holding an umbrella and the other hand holding a couple of grocery bags.

"Hi, mom."

Yuha looked at her daughter's dead expression, and listened to her quiet voice. Her face looked pale, and the blood mixing with the rain made a pool of red liquid beneath her feet. She looked to have gone to the dead and back.

"Mom, I now understand why you left dad, love is a load of bullshit and sweet words men used to manipulate women."

Yuha gasped at how much her daughter had changed from the last time. Something had happened, a devastating event to cause such a huge change. Kagome never swore, never cursed. She was pure and naïve, with the fantasy type of love in Cinderella.

Kagome wasn't Kagome anymore; she used to be so cheerful and optimistic. Yuha reached down and helped her daughter up, her breath hitching as she realized just how serious those wounds were.

"Kagome!" another shout came from the old well.

Kagome recognized the voice, Inuyasha. He was the same, with the fiery red outfit and Tetsusaiga safely strapped to his side. Then those golden eyes, so much like him…but much warmer. His thick strands of white hair differed from Sesshoumaru's silk tresses.

"I sensed your blood, what did you do this time wench. If it's something extremely foolish…" then he noticed where the mark should have been.

He raced over, unintentionally pushing Yuha aside. Taking the hint, Yuha left knowing that only he would be able to comfort Kagome.

"Kagome, that bastard did this to you, right? That son of a bitch! He believed Yura didn't he? I'm gonna go to the western lands and strip him alive!"

Kagome's tears came forth again at his words. Inuyasha was so protective, just like the older brother she had always hoped she would have. She tugged at his fire rat shirt to stop him from his foolish acts. If Inuyasha were to go, Sesshoumaru would come. Kagome had no intention of seeing him again, and it was probably better if she stayed away.

"There's no point, Inuyasha. There really is no point. So what if you went back and Sesshoumaru-sama apologized? No matter what, the same event would occur if he doesn't trust me enough. He doesn't even trust our bond, how am I expected to live with a man like that!?" Kagome's voice had raised an octave now that Inuyasha had to keep her a distance away.

He flinched at the title she had placed upon Sesshoumaru. They had grown too much apart. Recalling the last time he had seen her and Sesshoumaru, they had seemed to be such a loving couple. Sesshoumaru would cuddle Kagome, and she would tease him with nicknames such as Fluffy or Sesshou. Even when the volcano of her mind had exploded, she had only gone as far as to call him Sesshoumaru, never adding the formal title behind.

"Inuyasha, he says I'm not worthy of his love, that I'm only a useless whore who used him to gain the Western lands. He said that in front of Kouga, Kagura, Kanna, and the other lords. He tore through me in front of them, and Kouga could do nothing about it as he was on another's lands. Kagura and Kanna swore their loyalty to Sesshoumaru; they can't say anything against their lord. I couldn't do anything, Inu, my powers don't harm my mate!"

She sobbed uncontrollably, the pain finally fully settling upon her. The pent of frustration and hurt from his accusation that were nothing but false. Said hanyou grabbed onto the wracking form of the grown woman, though to him she still seemed like a child with sensitive feelings. Sesshoumaru, you really screwed up, Inuyasha inwardly thought.

"You'll be fine, Kagome, I won't allow him near you. Rest now, your body is exhausted."

It was a rare sight, seeing the usually brash hanyou soothingly rubbing her back and stroking her smooth locks of black hair. Despite it didn't have any tangles, the locks no longer shined as usual. Her eyes were not as radiant, hollow looking.

Inuyasha already missed her spirit and her sunny smile. Sesshoumaru had destroyed her, and damn him if he wasn't mad.

Her tears dried and in its place was an icy smile which barely held any emotion. The fire inside of her had perished, not being able to withstand the large amount of water Sesshoumaru had poured over it.

He shouldn't have allowed his brother to retrieve Kagome after Naraku had died. Kanna, who had joined Sesshoumaru, had also stated they would never last long. Knowing that Kagura had loved Sesshoumaru, the group shook it off as a comment Kanna made to aid her sister. Now to think of it, Kanna had always been honest.

Even Midoriko of the Shikon jewel, which had now merged with Kagome's body, had said that a marriage between a youkai and miko never ended perfect. She had warned them, yet they brushed if off as Midoriko's prejudice.

Kikyo, being alive after Kagome had made a wish, had sadly stated that the marriage between youkai and miko were never blessed, just as why she could never have united with Inuyasha any other way. She now lived a village far off in the Eastern lands, and she ignored everything around her, just as everything around her ignored her.

Now to think of it, all of their statements had been true. The mating between Sesshoumaru and Kagome had not been blessed and will not be blessed, the unison between enemies was spat upon and Sesshoumaru's vassals had even gone as far to attempt assassination.

Kagome didn't move, lying limply in Inuyasha's arms. "Inuyasha, what am I to do now? I have nowhere to go; Sesshoumaru can come through the well. If he listens anymore of Yura, he will come through and kill me."

"We will move," a stern voice intercepted.

Yuha gave Inuyasha a waterproof jacket to put on Kagome in case she became sick.

"I've put up with youkai, Kagome, because I know you enjoy being in the feudal era, a small part also being I enjoy their presence. But do you remember your promises? We had an agreement that if it were too dangerous you would no longer be allowed back. You're my only baby girl, and I won't allow anyone to hurt you. I've discussed this with your grandfather, and he has agreed that we move to Russia. I'm sorry about this, Inuyasha, but you may never be able to see her again."

She gave a deep bow to show her sincere apology, meaning every word she said.

Inuyasha's grip on Kagome tightened at the thought of never seeing her again. He knew where Russia was, Kagome had shown him a map, but the distance across the lands were too great. Even that wasn't the problem.

"If…I mean if I'm still alive in this era, Kagome, come find me."

Kagome sniffled and gave a barely noticeable nod, shifting only slightly so that Inuyasha could easily slip on her jacket.

"I have already contacted the moving company; they have organized a hotel in which we can stay in temporarily until we find a house to our likings. We will be leaving after three days, be prepared."

Kagome made no reply, her mind reeling to a stop at the thought of leaving this place. This shrine, where her story had began. The place in which she could go through in order to see Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, Kaede, Rin, Jaken, and…Sesshoumaru…Kagome stifled a sob as the name came into her mind.

"Go, Kagome, you'll need to forget all this," Inuyasha said as if he had read her mind.

Looking up at the sky, Kagome felt the rain give her a goodbye, knowing that she would never see the same piece of the sky again. The scent of the trees, the wooden scent of her house, and the scent of dirt at the bottom of the mystical well. She would miss this place, which was a definite.

"Go on, Kagome, I still need to go back," Inuyasha gave her a gentle push.

She, in return hugged him and said, "Thanks Inu-chan. You know, you can be so gentle sometimes."

"Keh, as if it's because you wench."

Even though she couldn't see as Inuyasha had turned away, she knew that a pretty blush stained his cheeks. The hanyou never usually showed affection, but it's known that he cared. Just as he was about to depart, Kagome hurled herself onto Inuyasha and stayed hanging there.

"Thank you so much, Inu, thank you…" her voice was teary, but she got her point across.

Inuyasha gave a barely visible nod before unhooking her arms, rushing towards the well less he change his mind about allowing her to leave. If he were to turn back now, he would be selfish. Kagome needed the time to regain control over her life; she needed to relieve the pain.

"Sesshoumaru-sama let me feed you!" Yura whined at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru rubbed his temples in irritation of the female curled up against his body, her hands holding a piece of apple. The position they were in felt odd, it seemed off. He couldn't figure out what, though, and it was infuriating.

It must be the lasting effect of that lying bitch Kagome.

He accepted Yura's services in order in order to rid himself of thoughts of that filthy creature who dared to trick him into mating her. He should never have marked her.

Yura inwardly sneered, it had been so easy. Just a little trick and a small illusion. She had lured Kagome to visit Kouga without Sesshoumaru, and then simply used a skill an old witch had taught her and made the scene of another man rutting with Kagome.

It had been too easy.

Looking at the man in front of her, she found Sesshoumaru to be incredibly laughable. If it weren't because of his status and beauty, she would never in her life approach him. He hadn't even bothered to check using the mental bond mates had, that fool. Youkai mates were able to read each other's minds and see of their past and what they had been through. Sesshoumaru hadn't even bothered with that before beating Kagome and throwing her out.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I saw an exotic silk kimono in the market today, may I have it?" she rubbed her curvy body against his.

Sesshoumaru paid no mind and simply nodded in agreement. A small frown came over his face, she had spent almost one tenth of his fortune within one month. If her habits were continued, he would be broke within a year.

"Yura, you need to stop spending so much money."

Yura ignored his complaint and placed a kiss on his lips, it was all too easy.

"But I really need those things!" she whined.

No, she didn't NEED those things, she simply WANTED them. And so long as she wanted them, Sesshoumaru would buy it for her. She would make sure of it. After all, that was her job as Zala's fiancée.

Sesshoumaru had never known this, but most of the objects that he was currently spending money on were Yura's lifetime supplies. Zala was poor, but he had agreed to mate Yura as long as she pays for her own supplies. He had explained that the richest of the four lords was Sesshoumaru, and his mating bond was the easiest to break. Once she spent all his money, they would have all they needed for a lifetime and flee from his grasp.

Other lords had much stronger mating bonds, as they had been mates for over a thousand years. Sesshoumaru had only been mated for less than a year, and he was known for his distrust. He was raised to be a suspicious youkai, and his father's betrayal had only raised his doubtfulness towards all living creatures. It wouldn't be hard at all to convince him that Kagome had cheated on him.

Sesshoumaru made his way towards the kitchens despite the time of 2a.m. in the morning. His stomach needed some food after being fed of nothing but fruit from Yura. Damn, he needed some meat!

He heard something which sounded like moans coming from one of the guestrooms that led towards the kitchen. It sounded strangely familiar, but Sesshoumaru couldn't quite remember whose it was. What were the servant maids doing up late at night? The only men inside his home were his soldiers and generals, what were they doing skipping their night duty? Not caring whether or not he was disturbing the couple, Sesshoumaru threw the door open. Whoever these two were, they needed a good beating in order to show them to obey their master.

Boy, was he surprised at the scene.

Yura and Zala, his general, were tangled together on the bed. The sheets had been made a mess. This particular guestroom was rarely used, so it would be natural that the servants to ignore cleaning this room unless ordered by their lord. So it wasn't a big surprise that they had used this room for so long and no one had noticed and reported to him.

The couple were so earnest in reaching towards their goal of ecstasy that they hardly noticed him enter until his venomous whip snapped at Yura, causing her to yelp in pain and hold onto her abdomen. The pair scrambled to put on some decent clothes as Sesshoumaru stood emotionlessly regarding the two.

"Sess…Sesshoumaru-sama…" Zala stuttered.

Yura was calm and serene. For whatever reason, she had already anticipated this and had no wish to anger Sesshoumaru. She would blame it all on Zala, who cares if Sesshoumaru killed him?

She leapt onto Sesshoumaru, clinging onto him for all she was worth and faking fear, "Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm so glad you have arrived! I have been meaning to tell you this, but Zala has threatened to strangle me if I dare inform you of his deeds. He has been raping me every night, please dispose him!"

Make belief tears spilled from her eyes, she was such a great actress. Across the room, Zala's eyes widened slightly in shock before narrowing in disgust and anger.

Sesshoumaru was angered, but had not lost his rational mind.

"Zala, what do you have to say of this?" he bit out in fury.

"Why give him anytime to say anything, my lord!? You gave that bitch Kagome no time to say anything, why give Zala any time!? He raped me! He raped me every single night!"

Why hadn't he? Sesshoumaru wondered. Why had he been so keen to believe Yura with Kagome's situation and now wish to hear Zala's perspective when he had chosen to ignore Kagome's words?

"Sesshoumaru-sama. Perhaps you never knew, but Yura and I are lovers. Yura, being the delectable bitch she is, wanted your money in order to secure her future. Confident in her skills of being a whore, she told me that I wouldn't have to worry about paying for her keepings once we mated. She said that money from you would be enough." Zala spoke confidently, staring at Yura challengingly.

Yura heard quite enough, she didn't want to lose her position because of that repulsive snake! "Sesshoumaru-sama, that son of a bitch is lying! Cease his blabbering before he spouts out more lies!"

But Zala didn't stop there; he wanted his revenge on the slut who dared to betray him. "She learned from an old witch that kistunes aren't the only youkai who could create illusions. On the day before the meeting of the four lords, she convinced Kagome-sama to visit Kouga-sama and welcome him to the ball. During the time that Kagome-sama was gone, she created the illusion of Kagome-sama mating with another. In this way, she managed to convince my lord that Kagome-sama was a deceitful person."

Sesshoumaru's expression darkened at Zala's second paragraph. He threw Yura of his arm. "Get off me, whore."

He was beyond mad, how dare she trick him into tossing Kagome away!? With a snap of his whip, Yura's head was removed from her shoulders. He ignored Zala and returned to his bedroom, in the process proceeding to destroy everything that came into view.

To every living creature on the planet, the Western Lord seemed calm as he raced through the lands towards Inuyasha's forest. Inside, his mind was on a raging war. He cursed himself for listening to Yura, wishing that he had never lost Kagome. A growl escaped his lips. Creatures fled for their lives, but they never knew that the growl wasn't directed at them. It was simply because he was mad at himself for tossing away a person so precious he should've given his life up for.

This was too slow, the speed he was traveling in. A ball of white light appeared, and Sesshoumaru once again emerged, this time as the great inu he truly was. He sped across the lands, not caring of his surroundings. His enormous body crashed into trees, he didn't mind. The only goal in his current mind was to reach Kagome as quickly as possible; he only wanted to travel in a straight line towards his destination.

The speed he was currently traveling in he had never reached. It took him little time to reach the well, compared to the week humans would usually take, he arrived within three hours.

Sango and Miroku heard the crash of trees before sensing a large amount of youkai heading their way. It was a pressuring feeling, whichever youkai this was, it was a powerful one. They looked at each other in nervousness; the youkai's jaki even surpassed Naraku's jaki. They needed Inuyasha to even stand a chance against this particular youkai.

Then just as suddenly as the jaki had appeared, it simply vanished into nothingness. There was no trace that a powerful youkai had just existed. Instead, it seemed totally peaceful.

They glanced at each other before both shrugging, perhaps they had felt wrong and it had only been their imagination.

Sesshoumaru dived towards the well, in the process transforming into his human form, as his inu form would not fit in the well. While doing so, his jaki was suppressed. He felt the familiar glow of warm blue, the gentle light that brought him a step closer to his beloved.

Usually the process of transfer through the well would only take no more than a minute, yet to the current Sesshoumaru it seemed to be more than eternity. As the blue light ceased, he wasted no time in jumping out of it and rushing towards the familiar shrine.

It was gone.

The scent of his mate had disappeared.

It suddenly occurred to him that he could no longer feel the mental bond that had developed amongst them. Her presence in his mind had been gone for who knows how long, yet he had never noticed with his attention focused on Yura.

The blood rushed from his face as he discovered the truth in his assumptions when he reached a shaky finger up to feel the mating mark. It was flickering in and out, meaning that his mate was about to die. The time barrier between them had stopped him from feeling the pain, but it hadn't stopped the pain from reaching her. She must be in agony now, but he could do nothing, and it angered him that this would happen.

Not caring of Kagome's warning when they had last been in the future, Sesshoumaru let out a ferocious and strangely depressed roar. His mate was dead; she must have been dead for a long time now for her scent to have completely disappeared.

Then all was quiet, as the even the trees seemed to calm under the breeze, as if they were welcoming an important person.

Then he heard it.

The tinkling laughter, the beautiful bell-like sound of Christmas which only his precious mate could make. Yet her scent did not appear, he could only hear her cheery laughter. Not one to waste time, Sesshoumaru raced after the sound, fully intending on finding his elegant mate. Maybe she had masked her scent…maybe his senses were clogged by the rain.

Yet Sesshoumaru subconsciously knew that none of those were the answer.

He reached a field which used the shrine as a rampart, one of the places that Kagome had loved. His eyes adjusted, this single place seemed o be closed off to the outer world as it was raining outside and it was sunny here. Then he saw them, two spirits dancing merrily in the flower bed.

One was recognizable, how could he not know? It was his mate, the ever childish yet steadfast mate of his. She was clad in a white kimono, with no decorations whatsoever, deeply contrasting with her hair which had a healthy glow to it.

The other woman looked to be Midoriko, dressed in a slightly grayer colored kimono, but everything else was same none the less. Both had a gold bracelet around their wrist, Kagome also had a ring around her fourth finger.

In his distant memory, he could remember the young lass telling him of the human wedding custom.

Kagome finally noticed Sesshoumaru, walking gracefully and curiously over to him. Standing below his cheek, she looked up at the man with silent admiration.

"Who are you?" she said with that cutely innocent voice of hers.

Time seemed to stop for Sesshoumaru, she didn't remember him!? He looked at the lass in front of him front head to toe to head again, making sure that this had been his mate.

The curious soul looked down at her fourth finger and held it up to allow Sesshoumaru a better view.

"Do you know who placed this ring on my finger? I've asked Midoriko-chan so many times now, but she would never reply!"

Sesshoumaru looked down at her, his gut clenching and his heart lurching at the sight of her.

"Of course I knew him…I knew him very well…" his eyes gained a faraway look.

When his mind finally registered where he was…Kagome was gone. Midoriko was left standing there. She looked at him with distaste before hesitantly crossing over.

"She loved you with all her heart, and chose to give up. Kagome wished to see you one more time without knowing you, so the Kami erased her memories. She became a wandering soul, and I cannot let her do this alone. There is a letter stuck at the eastern corner of the well, the Kami are calling."

Then Midoriko melted into nothingness as well.

Sesshoumaru wasted no time in running full speed towards the well, fully intending on reading his mate's last words. Perhaps, being the powerful miko that she was she would have recorded a way to revive her.

The letter was wrapped inside an obi and sealed up, the sapphire silk obi he had gifted to her as their mating gift. He felt a lump form at his throat, before shaking it off and reading the letter.

_Dear love Sesshoumaru,_

_By the time you read this letter, I would no longer remember you. I would still exist as a wandering spirit, but I will not recognize you. The chances are so tiny, but I placed my last hope on Midoriko and prayed that you would someday find out the truth that I had never plotted against you. I loved you, and the thought never even crossed my mind._

_I desire to see you once again, but I do not know whether or not I will once again be able to face you without letting the dam of my eyes open. I cannot bear anymore pain. My memories are erased, and this is the only way I know of that I can see you again without hurting myself._

_Mother thinks that I will live to see Russia, but I will not. I had planned this, and placed my trust in Midoriko that she would someday allow me to see you._

_Perhaps one day my memories will enter my mind once again, and I rest at peace knowing that I had seen my love again, hoping that you believe me._

_Yours forever,_

_Kagome Higurashi, previous mate of Sesshoumaru-sama_

The word 'previous' stung him, and he knew that she had only asked to be loved. What had he done, then? He had torn her to pieces, taken away the last bit of pride that she had saved from Inuyasha and Kikyo. At the ball he had ripped through her, and he would never get her back again. Evidently, she wanted a peaceful life with no worries and only hope and love.

He hadn't granted her wishes.

The End

AN: How was it? I wasn't too pleased with it myself as the ending was screwed up, I just couldn't think of an appropriate to end it. It was a pretty lame ending wasn't it?


End file.
